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1.
basting 03:00
everyone sees your garter belt everything holding you together everything you've ever felt all of your lace, all of your leather nothing held back nothing picking up the slack everyone sees right through your tricks every stitch that's falling out every temporary fix you never did anything about nothing held tight nothing putting up a fight five foot seven inches of loose thread you might as well go back to bed
2.
indoor kid 02:59
i was an indoor kid & i spend a lot of time at home & i will probably die just like my mother did: drunk & alone i'm sorry; that's no-one's business but every haunting needs a witness my engine runs on fright & i barely shut my aching eyes & i will probably die like any other night: exhausted & high i'm sorry; that's not your problem but sometimes hauntings end up solemn i'm sorry; i get nervous but most times, i deserve it
3.
heart.gif 03:54
at the show like, "i'm sorry if i seem in my head "i really wanna be here, but also want to be dead" i'm sorry you heard me through the wall i'm sorry you can hear me ever, ever at all i've been eating, i've been outside, i have been sleeping still the shadows come a-creepin' i'm sorry you found me on the floor i'm sorry for all the other times before you put your hand on my hand & say, "it's alright" & i don't believe you, but it gets me through the night i'm sorry i'm always crying i am sorry-- i promise that i'll keep trying
4.
told you so 05:06
i'm the fool who asked, "are you sure?" & half-believed you when you said you were i recognise roads to resentment i'm sorry that you thought you meant it i know, i know you had to go in my defense, i told you so another friendship overpowered another person i've devoured you tell the flame, "i won't get burned" then retreat, blistered, lesson learned i said from the start i was on fire i'm many things, but not a liar you choked, you choked on smoke & all the words we never spoke i shared my vision, seen so clearly a future where you can't be near me you said, "you're not a fucking prophet" i know that. but i know this topic my dear, my dear, give it a year you'll regret our whole career so on & such. i'm too much. i break the hands to which i clutch
5.
after all 05:20
four or five years, not a word now you're here, or so i've heard there is so much to catch up on thanks for chancing this liaison but after all, it was your turn to call there are queries, there's no closure i had theories, but it's over it's just lovely to hear your voice no need to walk me through your choice after all, once you were a port of call let's not go there; let's not do this you don't owe any excuses after all, someone had to make the call but if you maybe wanna talk about it if you maybe wanna talk about it if you maybe wanna talk about it i'd like to have that conversation i'd like to open up that line of communication if you maybe, if you maybe, just maybe want to talk

about

some apologies & some gratitude

credits

released December 29, 2019

thank you to: kyha, karol, sara, dan, blair, & BP for quietly & loudly encouraging me to keep at least engaging with the general concept of art when i felt like i was eating bricks 24/7

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people you meet outside of bars Peterborough, Ontario

hi, i'm satah. welcome to gay goth vibes dot online, my collection of big feelings. i like to sing about stuff that hearts do, like stopping forever or breaking or going too fast or whatever

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